Non-Date

There I was, in a park in Fort Greene, sitting on a bench next to B and realizing that he's a smart, funny, down-to-earth, attractive, politically-inclined, educated, liberal, moral, well-read, humble, honest, straight, and single man.

We were eating baked goods from a shop a couple blocks away; yummy cookies, a decadent muffin, and a rich slice of cake lay between us like a metaphor for what I was feeling. We shared the tempting morsels while we continued our (so far) five-hour long conversation.

And maybe it's because we're good friends that go back a ways - we met 5 or 6 years ago, and at the time we both worked for the same non profit - but the conversation took awesome turns that I hadn't expected. We were talking about our mutual love for a film that was panned by critics. We shared stories about books we'd read on trains, and how they made us cry. We listened to old school reggae and I swayed my hips as he shyly smiled down at me.

And it felt good. Not in a romantic kind of way, but just in a really good way. Spending time with B brought out sides of me that have been dormant for a while. The sex kitten inside of me bubbled just past my skin, but she remained still and quiet; the cultured and educated nerd came out in full force.

When was the last time that I could talk about books like that (with a man)? When's the last time I could talk about obscure films with someone? When was the last time that I engaged in an 8-hour conversation with a man, without the pretense of sex, and without my getting frustrated with his lack of conversation skills, and without my grimacing at his righteous right-wing indignation?!

It's been too long.