I really need this to work out.

And by "this" I mean everything that I'm working on at the moment. I have another dominatrix interview scheduled for this Sunday. Opera Singer's also applied to the same dungeon, and we're being interviewed within 2 hours of each other (her first). I need good, fast money, and I need it yesterday.

I'm thisclose to completing a writing project that I've been fretting over for... umm... maybe... 4 months. I'm afraid that if I throw my hat in the ring and it meets a big fat rejection, I'll roll up in a ball like those roley poley beetles and cry.

No. Correction: I was afraid of that. Now I'm just excited. Like: woo-hoo, this writing project is finally within completion, I've dealt with my issues, and I might actually land a prestigious, regularly-paying writing gig. I should be finished by tonight... *excited shudder*

I'm spending the rest of today looking for day jobs and volunteering/interning gigs that are up my alley. I have to decide right now, very quickly: will I go straight into physician's assistance (by changing my major and going to a different school), OR will I go back to BC, finish up my philosophy & creative writing degree, then go where the wind takes me? [Actually, I lie: I've got a good idea of where I'm going after a creative writing degree. I'm thinking: an education degree, traveling, teaching in inner city schools, then get my MFA. Damn. I think I've made my decision.]

I have this sick feeling in my stomach that in the next couple of weeks, I'll be running at full-throttle: night job, day job, volunteering/interning, writing gig... And I might *laughing hysterically* go back to school.

I have this really bad habit of making plans waaaayyy in advance when I'm fully aware that these things change. But I do it anyway. So here goes: I need to do all that work stuff to make me feel productive and confident in my decisions, then I can pay off as many bills as possible, get an apartment, and go back to school. In that order. I probably won't go back to school till winter or spring. But, eh. It's okay. I've learned my lesson and I'm glad that it's finally stuck. There is no schedule, no rubric, no system more important than your own biological/emotional clock. Fuck anyone who thinks differently. Social constructs are only important to petty people.