Changes

There's an obvious and different change to the way I express myself on the (web) page. I'm typing away and it's hard to ignore. Where did it come from and why does it exist?

When I started Solipsism, it was on a whim. The only other publicly-aired day-to-day personal diatribe I'd ever had was my column in the college newspaper, and that forum necessitated a certain kind of artsy panache. It wouldn't do for me to simply vent; I had to be clever, witty, illuminating. My blogging still smelled like my column since I carried my old ways into the new.

But now, with that part of my life over - the dismissal of daily pretention in effect - I'm free to be me. Unadulterated. Pure. Uncut. 100% straight from the earth. Me.

There is no need for me to pretty up my words or try to sound logical. The purposes of this writing venue are purely personal, so it doesn't really matter if anyone else understands the way my writing voice wobbles and warbles.

Now, instead of "See Maria write beautifully," it's "See Maria change." This is an attempt to strip away the step-by-step quality of explaining myself in Soplisism. I'm trying to get back my literary form. I want to show instead of tell. I want to be the writer as well as the written word.

So if I'm abrupt, if I'm confusing, if I ply you with too many nicknames for my friends, etc., then I'm truly sorry. I don't mean to irritate anyone. I just want to be me.