The Mindless Ramblings of The Infirm

This morning, when I woke up, Would-Be Romantic was lying in bed next to me, my lungs felt lighter, and the sun's rays seeped through my gauzy white bedroom curtains. It all culminated in a feeling of awe. Maybe I was better. Maybe yesterday - with its escalating bodily temperatures, piles of yellow mucous and vomit, endless body aches, throat as raw and burning as sashimi with wasabi, mind-numbing dizziness that scrambles the brain and leaves vertigo in my joints, headaches that make me think I've been lumped up by a bunch of hoods, phantom voices that came and went - was all a part of my imagination.

Alas, I'm not that lucky.

I might've started the day feeling good, but within minutes the aches in my back came back in full effect, my voice was reduced to a crunchy warble, and my throat felt like it was on fire. At least the phlegm wasn't too much, the snot wasn't running down my nostrils like Flo Jo, and my head wasn't pounding like a teenage boy with his first set of drums.

But am I in pain still? Yes. Definitely. Yes.

A weird thing happened yesterday. In between my father asking the advice of doctors at work - maybe I have a UTI? - I swear my period took a powder, too. One second, I'm bleeding like a stuck cow. The next, my new pad is as fresh and clean as newly laundered bedsheets. I dunno what that's supposed to mean.

But right now I'm bleeding. And my head hurts. And any kind of stimulation - music, movies, books, magazines, et al. - is too much for my mind to process. I swear colors are almost too much for me to bare. I'd much rather stay in one place with my eyes closed as people talk to me and I type out answers on my laptop.

Sad, yes. But even sadder is the fact that I haven't been to work in two days, and this puts me way behind on my schedule to pay off my bills. Also, I'd planned on performing at open mics around the city, to get a buzz going about the fundraiser on the 14th, but that's not happening either.

The part that kills me, though, is that every year I get the flu. This year, I swore to myself that I'd nip it in the bud and get my flu shot - and I STILL GOT THE FLU! Albeit a different strain of the flu than the one I'd gotten vaccinated for, but the flu nonetheless. Urgh. If I had the energy to, I'd be really pissed.