Sick & Tired & Altogether Too Emotional

There's poetry in the gauzy white curtains that dance, layered upon each other, in front of my window. They're just the right shade of white to compliment the white of my bedroom furniture, the closet and bedroom doors, the pillow cases and comforter. They make my room more romantic, more dreamy, more a place where two people can make love than film a gritty 9mm porn.

And the songs that play from my computer, soft and heavily melodic, many of them acoustic, sparse and sounding like the soundtrack to a montage of love and life, carry me to a road trip on the west coast, where the Pacific Ocean leaves traces of salt on my scalp as I zoom down a highway with my naked head soaking in sun; usher in a scene of two young lovers in Atlantic City, scared and without a soul in the world to turn to, baring their most private parts as Lady Luck leaves their wallets barren and love looks like the only thing they've got; place nostalgic memories of teenage romance into the forefront of my mind, sappy and sweet and tainted by the tint of time, which sweetens stories from the past; make me worry about the future and all that I think will happen, can happen, should happen in my life.

What do I know? Maybe this is as good as it gets: all of my loved ones happy and healthy, every desired opportunity at my fingertips, having reached a point in my life where I feel like I have all the answers I need.

What do you know? Maybe this is as good as it gets: all of my loved ones happy and healthy, every desired opportunity at my fingertips, having reached a point in my life where I feel like I have all the answers I need.

Maybe "as good as it gets" is subjective. Maybe it's someplace we can get back to. Maybe it's a fleeting feeling that, once attained, can never be retrieved. Maybe I reached it ten years ago, five years ago, yesteryday - the zenith of personal happiness - and I'll never know it.

All I know for certain is that tomorrow's coming, whether or not I want to believe it. The least I can do is prepare for it.